The last few weeks have been incredibly hard to watch. After nearly two decades in Afghanistan, the war has ended. But it did not end with an unconditional surrender and a ticker tape parade, did it? Instead, on live TV, we watched the Taliban rapidly regain control of Afghanistan, ending with a crisis at the Kabul airport as people attempted to flee.

So here we are, two decades later. We are a generation of wartime leaders, who, for a brief moment, have no war to fight. Before we move on, as leaders often do, let’s take a few minutes to talk through what happened, to make an honest attempt to learn through it. By writing this, I offer three simple questions. If you can, take some time today to reflect, think, and discuss.

How are you doing? For many, the end of this war has forced us to address unhealed wounds. We knew the war wouldn’t go on forever when we left in ‘05 or ‘11, but we knew we were contributing to a larger campaign. The war became a constant, something we could point back to and justify the collective sacrifice. Now that the war is over, many are wrestling with the conclusion and wanting to quantify that sacrifice while seeing images of the Taliban inspecting American military equipment.

What did we get right? While we’re working through all of that, it is important to remember what we got right. First, I couldn’t be more proud of how a rapidly formed joint force, including the Devil Brigade, handled a humanitarian crisis at the airport in Kabul. Now, as refugees begin to hit the States, we have ad-hoc teams coming together to welcome them. These efforts should make us all proud. This is the true American spirit, the very ideal we chose to fight for.

Also, many of us “got it right” when we fought in Afghanistan. During my time as a Company Commander in Paktikia Province, we protected the people in our area of operations. We provided them some semblance of stability, giving our enemies no rest as we hunted them through the valleys and into the mountains. Collectively, we gave the Afghan people a taste of freedom, their children watching and learning from our example. We gave their little girls hope. Only history can truly judge the impact of our efforts in Afghanistan.

How can we learn? As we get past the raw emotion of what’s occurred, let’s start talking about what we learned in Afghanistan. At the tactical level, share your experiences and challenges as a leader in combat. For other leaders, it is imperative to discuss our experiences on higher level staffs. These are tough conversations, especially when we discuss our own shortcomings, but they are essential to enabling learning.

This is a tough time, but what do leaders do in the face of adversity? We step up to the challenge and lead. That’s what I am asking each of you to do today. Be a leader and start a dialogue with your network. Together, we can shape how our institution learns and grows.