The Art of Listening

A Guest Post by Nate Player

Successful officers are good listeners. They use effective listening skills to gain perspective from their subordinates and listen to their Soldiers to build a foundation of trust. Officers who do this are more effective in leading their teams than those who do not. This essay will enable better understanding by discussing three topics: listening to gain perspective on assigned missions or tasks; listening to build trust in the team and; some tips for improving listening skills.

0624.jpg

June 24, 2015 – Photo by U.S. Army Maj. Randy Stillinger
U.S. Army Sgt. Troy Lord, a CH-47 Flight Engineer with the Texas National Guard’s 2-149th General Support Aviation Battalion, guides a CH-47 Chinook helicopter, as Soldiers from 1st Battalion, 133rd Field Artillery, hook up a 105mm Howitzer during an air assault exercise on Fort Hood.

“Keep an open mind and seek advice. Every team has experienced members that are an extremely valuable resource. These team members can provide historical examples of past issues and help guide your decisions. But first, you must be approachable and willing to listen.”

 Listening to gain perspective on assigned missions or tasks

An officer who demonstrates by their actions an attitude of willingness to listen will have a more cohesive team and greater mission accomplishment. Because it is up to the officer to make the final decision at their level, listening does not necessarily mean you must follow all given counsel. However, those who keep an open mind and seek advice will likely succeed in mission planning and execution ahead of their peers.

Effective listeners are humble and teachable. Remember, the rank you hold requires that your orders be followed, but does not necessarily mean your idea is the best one. Before you make any final decisions on a course of action, ask for feedback and consider the counsel offered with an open mind. Officers should not be emotionally attached to their ideas. If a better one comes along it should be embraced enthusiastically.

Listening means getting out of your office and spending time with your team. Today’s officer corps often feel tethered to their computers and email. To combat this, an officer should have time dedicated in their personal battle rhythm to being out and moving around. Try not to be the officer who nobody sees all day. That is a recipe for disaster.

Listening to build trust in the team

Perhaps more importantly, officers who are approachable professionally are by extension showing themselves to be approachable personally. Consequently, they will be much more effective in their role of leading Soldiers. You cannot lead those who do not trust you, and one of the best ways to build trust is by listening to and caring about your team.

Officers should remember that feeling heard is one of the most important desires people have emotionally and that Soldiers are human beings under their uniforms. The officer NCO relationship is in many ways like a marriage. If your NCO counterpart feels like their opinion is sought and valued, they will move mountains for you. By the same token, if they feel as if you are not interested in their experience or opinion, your partnership will quickly fall apart.

Soldiers only bring their problems to leaders who have shown through their actions that they care and are willing to listen. Make it a point to give your Soldiers an opportunity to talk to you. This can be accomplished through formal counseling sessions or by simply taking the opportunity to ask them how they are doing. Follow up questions are also important. Don’t just ask “how was your weekend” and walk away. Find out what they did and with whom. Learn the names of spouses and children. Approaching your Soldiers in this manner will work wonders in the difficult moments when you must ask a little bit more from your team. Those moments come both on the battlefield and in the garrison. If your team knows you listen and knows you care, they will follow you wherever you lead them.

Some tips for improving listening skills

So how does one become an effective listener? For starters, it takes lots of practice. Effective leaders master the art of “listening to understand” as opposed to “listening to respond.” A concerted effort is required to hone this skill. For starters, try to focus on what someone is saying overall before you formulate a response. Let them finish their thought and then take some time to think through your answer. In other words, don’t be afraid of a few moments of silence. Be careful with knee-jerk reactions to what you are hearing. The tradition of “holding questions until the end of a brief” stems from the fact that many questions are answered in due course if we allow others time to fully explain their ideas.

It is also important to use active listening skills. That means communicating back to the person you are speaking with that you understand what they have been saying. For example, if a Soldier comes to you with a problem, after listening to all they have to say, repeat back to them a summary of the problem as you heard them communicate it. This gives them the opportunity to clarify or confirm your understanding. Once you have reached a point of mutual understanding, you can begin to come up with a solution to the problem together.

Not everyone starts out as a good listener. Officers should not expect to be immediately proficient at the techniques and efforts discussed here. More leaders are made than born. Remember that fact and keep moving forward.  As you strive to humble yourself and improve your skills at active listening your team will support you with counsel and follow your orders no matter how difficult the circumstance.

Enjoy the article? This is part of Nate Player’s series on success as an officer in the Army. Read more HERE

Major Nathan Player is currently a student at the Superior School of War in Bogota Colombia. He is assigned to 3rd Special Forces Group at Fort Bragg following graduation. He has 13 years of combined enlisted and officer service, has commanded at the O3 Level, and served in various joint staff and professional education assignments.