Feb. 27, 2017, U.S. Army photo

In the spring of 2012, I heard some advice during a professional development session that caused me to reevaluate my daily routine. That morning, the Deputy Commanding General of Operations (DCG-O) conducted PT with the officers of our battalion. After PT, we assembled in the battalion classroom for a professional development session. We were all eager to hear from an officer who had an exceptional reputation as a leader and warfighter.

During the session, the DCG-O described his time in multiple leadership positions from platoon leader to his current position. He talked about the responsibility entrusted to us as commissioned officers along with some of the best practices he learned over decades of service.

As I sat down to begin writing on the topic of self-discipline in our profession, something seemed off about the topic. I felt the framing of the question was not correct and my thoughts could not align with the terms. I realized that we might best master the art of self-discipline when we start viewing our profession as a true vocation.

U.S. Army photo by Pfc. Gabriel Silva, May 5th, 2017

Photo by Staff Sgt. Joe Armas

Senior leaders throughout my career have always told me to live a balanced life. “The Army will get you when it wants you,” they would say. “Take advantage of family time now.”

I once asked a panel of senior leaders – a former member of the National Security Council, a former Service secretary, and a retired commanding general of a combatant command – how they found balance. Without hesitation, they smirked and replied, “At this level, it’s just about impossible.”

In a high operational tempo, high demand, high responsibility career in the military, how do career professionals best find balance?

You are probably expecting me to offer advice on how to achieve a state of bliss between service to the Army and time with your family. Sadly, I believe that achieving perfect balance between work and family is impossible. Balance, by its very definition, implies an equal distribution of weight. However, in my opinion, any implication that a service member can achieve a perfect balance is a lie. Instead, as Army Leaders we find ourselves in a state of constant internal conflict, an emotional struggle between the duality of our obligations to duty and to our loved ones. On one hand, we have the obligations to our oaths, our Soldiers, our unit, and a desire to accomplish the mission. In direct opposition, but no less important, are the commitments we have made to our loved ones and family. In more simplistic terms, you love two families; one of brothers and sisters in arms and equally important, your family. You will struggle to give both families the time, energy, focus, and love they both deserve and require. Nevertheless, it will never be an equal distribution, the gravity of this profession and the sincerity of love prevent this. If we try, seeking perfect balance becomes an unwinnable zero-sum game where a relationship will collapse.

Photo by U.S. Army Spc. Christopher M. Blanton

U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Kevin Tanenbaum

Successful leaders understand the value of command guidance and task prioritization. Through 17 years of war, sequestration, and military force reductions, our armed forces are consistently asked to “do more with less.” It is the job of commanders and supervisors at all levels to separate the mission essential from the extraneous in order to give both themselves and their subordinates ample time to rest and recover.