“The teacher hates me.” You have either said it yourself, heard it in school, or now have kids who are trying to convince you of this. Or perhaps the statement has taken on a new spin in your professional career: “the boss hates me.” What are you supposed to do in those situations? At this point in your career, the pressure to do well and set yourself apart is immense. You can see the finish line (retirement), and you want to make it there. But those goals may seem unreachable if the people responsible for your development and evaluations appear to dislike you or your work for some unapparent reason. In the military, we are often told that promotions, and good report cards, come down to luck and timing. If you find yourself in this situation, you are probably out of luck and your timing didn’t work out. If you think that you can’t get ahead no matter how hard you try allow me to offer some suggestions. 

Be honest. The first step is to look dispassionately at your environment and your work products. Perhaps you are actually producing at a suboptimal level. One way to find out if your boss’s assertions are true is to look external to your organization. How do other units and headquarters portray your contributions? Do they value your input? Are leaders outside of your organization commending you in any way? Do your co-workers receive the same treatment? Though imperfect indicators, the answers to these questions can help you gauge whether or not you are the problem at your day job. In the end, you will have to make the final determination, but you cannot rule out the possibility that your boss may have a point. Be honest with yourself and seek input from friends, mentors, and other leaders. If they tell you that the complaints are founded, roll up your sleeves and get to work to be better. 

Do your job. If you determine that you are not the problem, you have a job to do. The military sent you to your unit to do a job and accomplish the missions inherent in that job. Do those things and keep the train moving. If your boss gives you a specific task, accomplish it; if there are other implied tasks, accomplish those as well. This is not a license to do the bare minimum; your unit and those you lead deserve more than that. This is only to say that it is usually fruitless to try and impress someone who is routinely unimpressible. Don’t kill yourself trying to re-invent the wheel or develop a novel way of doing something. Focus on the basics of your role and knock those out of the park. Again, the people that matter will take notice and that is ultimately what you are after.  

Read a book. In her book “Managing Up,” Mary Abbajay offers many tips and tricks for how to deal with various types of lackluster bosses in your role as an employee or direct report. If you are looking for techniques on how to get through your time with a terrible boss, start here. I have used some of the techniques therein to improve my relationships with supervisors in the past. The goal is to maximize your effectiveness despite your boss. Additionally, the techniques can also be helpful when your boss is not necessarily bad, but could use a gentle push in the right direction. In any case, the tools this book provides will benefit you in any workplace relationship you find yourself.  

Don’t rock the boat. Now is not the time to confront your boss and tell them how marginalized you are feeling. Leaders like this will typically hold that type of conversation against you and it will do more harm than good. However, if you feel that despite their misgivings about your work, you have a relationship with your boss that could benefit from a heart to heart, discuss it. Have a good plan of attack and understand that the discussion may not go the way you hope.  

Get out. Don’t be afraid to look for other opportunities inside or outside of your assigned headquarters. If you are a good worker and you’ve taken the steps above, others will take notice. The plus side is if your boss already thinks you are less than stellar, it clears a path for your exit should an opportunity arise. Find a place where your work is or will be appreciated. There are plenty of opportunities to do get your name and work quality out there. Branch out at conferences, work hard as an exercise augment, communicate and work well with sister and higher headquarters. All the while let others know you are open to opportunities. Eventually, a door will open that you will want to walk through. Don’t be afraid to seize upon the occasion. 

Being in this sort of situation is never easy, but if you are honest with yourself and proactive, you can find a way to thrive. Don’t let yourself get caught in the “teacher hates me” mental trap, feeling like there is nothing you can do about your lot in life. If you are a responsible adult and professional, someone will take notice. Getting through this will not be easy, but with the right mindset and tools, you can come out the other end better for it. 

MAJ Vernon Pittman is a Functional Area 59 (Strategic Plans and Policy) officer and former Signal officer. He has served in tactical and operational headquarters in the U.S. Army and NATO. He is currently serving at U.S. Army Pacific and loves going to work every day. 

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