Balance – it’s a concept many military professionals embrace philosophically but fail to employ in their day-to-day lives. We are committed to our profession, and with that commitment comes significant responsibility. We carry the organization’s weight on our shoulders all day, every day, knowing our performance impacts Soldiers’ lives and their ability to accomplish mission. Further, we know that most jobs are “make or break” for our military careers. If you want to be a battalion commander, you have to excel in key and developmental positions. We know our personal lives are important, but that often importance gets lost in the grind of our daily duties: emails, meetings, last-minute tasks, serious incident reports; the list goes on and on. This article isn’t intended to solve balance, providing a simple equation to calculate how much time you need to spend at the office today. Unfortunately, it just isn’t that simple. The purpose of this essay is to provide a better definition of balance for the military professional.

Ask five leaders to define balance and you will probably get five different answers. Many military professionals who view the concept as unachievable would define balance as a 50/50 time split between work and family. Perhaps this is achievable in a sterile career laboratory. A magically isolated environment where a professional sleeps eight hours, works eight hours, and spends eight hours at home being a model parent. The hours simply don’t add up for the military professional. We start work around 0600, spend extended periods of time away from home, and are often responsible for solving problems as they arise, regardless of time.

So, what exactly is balance? In contrast to the 50/50 split described above, I argue balance is not about equal distribution or even a quantitative description. According to dictionary.com, to balance is “to arrange, adjust, or proportion the parts of symmetrically.” So, what’s symmetry? Symmetry is “the proper or due proportion of the parts of a body or whole to one another with regard to size and form; excellence of proportion.” What parts of a whole are we adjusting and arranging to achieve proper proportion? That would be the parts of our lives. Given this baseline, I propose the following definition for the military professional:

Balance: To strive for effective distribution of energy between life’s priorities.

Let’s have a deeper look at the components of this definition, starting with life’s priorities. Like any long-range project you’d tackle at work, your life needs thought and strategy. I use goal setting and reflection to keep myself on track, identifying what is truly important in my life and evaluating my progress towards these priorities. I spend a few minutes thinking through priorities each day, usually early in the morning with a hot cup of coffee. Reflection and goal-setting over the years have focused me on three parts of life that are the most important.

First, I am committed to my family, to be a positive role model and valued member of this very special team. Next, I am committed to my profession and providing a positive contribution, both immediately (current position) and long-term (self-development to serve in future positions, contribution to this discussion). Finally, I am committed to taking care of myself, maintaining both physical and mental fitness. What parts of life are most important to you?

The next facet of our new balance definition is energy, the currency we distribute against life’s priorities. So why use energy as the unit of measure instead of time? Time is an ineffective, quantitative method to describe investment in priorities. As an example, you can spend 12 hours at work forwarding emails without positively contributing to your team or organization. On the home front, you could spend 12 hours at home scrolling through Facebook without positively contributing to your family.

Energy, on the other hand, is a qualitative measurement. Investing energy is more than just being physically present. Investing energy requires you to maintain focus, to be mentally present. True balance is about the quality of investment in your priorities. Instead of scrutinizing the amount of time you spend at home, at work, in the gym, or surfing, think about where you’re investing your energy. What’s important, based on your life priorities, and what is not worth the investment in energy?

Next, our definition calls for effective distribution across the priorities you’ve identified. I think through this allocation each morning as I review my calendar. I look through scheduled activities, then block time to work on big projects, answer e-mail, etc. This simple process gives me clarity and focus as I approach each workday. But no plan survives first contact, right? Being effective requires you to be adaptive. You have to be able to respond to crisis, but not to the point that you’re erratic. If every phone call you receive becomes your top priority, you are probably doing something wrong. You have to be responsive as issues and requirements present themselves, but able to delineate between immediate and important. This is part of the art of our profession that takes practice.

The final component of our definition is use of the word strive to describe the necessity for constant attention. Balance isn’t something you can declare, then ignore. Balance requires iterative reflection, adjustment, and disciplined execution. Additionally, no one is going to find balance for you. Most organizations are interested in your well-being, but they are more interested in your ability to get results. It’s your job to get things organized effectively, to focus on your personal life, and to stay mentally and physically healthy, all while getting results.

So how do you affect our professional culture and our shared perception of balance? As leaders, it is our job to set the standard for those who follow. There will undoubtedly be long nights, long trips, and abundant crises. Do hard work when there’s hard work to be done, but don’t be the leader who sits in their office late when the work you’re doing isn’t in line with your priorities. Don’t be the leader who sends emails on Sunday when there isn’t an emergency. Be the leader who demonstrates disciplined time management and rewards others for doing the same. Be there for your family, and don’t be ashamed to prioritize them when needed. Talk to your subordinates about balance, incorporate it into your professional development series. Lead change in our organization through your personal example.