U.S. Army National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Roberto Di Giovine

“Discover what it is that makes you passionate then grab a firm hold. Cherish it proudly and guard it with great DetermiNation.” -Linda Henson

It is Friday afternoon in the office and you can barely hear yourself think. People are talking, phones are ringing, keyboards are clicking, and meetings are being called. You find yourself wondering, where was this energy on Monday? On Tuesday? Why does the noise-level steadily increase throughout the week until it becomes a deafening roar on Friday afternoon? Just as you prepare to leave for an anniversary dinner with your spouse, the brigade executive officer calls a meeting with all the staff primaries to discuss the operations order he just received from division. Regretfully, you call your spouse with the news that you’ll have to reschedule the dinner – again.

What is your passion? What is it that allows you to rest easy at night and excites you to get out of bed each morning? For some, it is work. For others, the passion is family. For many, it is the excitement of beginning a new day and facing the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead. Whatever your passion, there comes a point in life when you have to make a hard decision regarding personal versus professional priorities. If left unchecked, this dilemma will wreak havoc on both aspects of your life to cause undesirable second and third-order effects. The good news is these internal conflicts can be alleviated by finding a healthy balance between work and personal life. Believe it or not, knowing when and how to step away from work will enhance your performance and lead to a greater sense of inner peace and satisfaction.

How many times have you found yourself in the aforementioned scenario? Presumably, your spouse, child, or friend expressed understanding for the sacrifices of military life, but every time we make that sacrifice it tips the scale just a little more off-balance. This begs the question, what exactly is balance?

In an effort to achieve a greater perspective and understanding on the subject, I sought the counsel of a recently retired CW5 with 27-years in service. He defined balance as, “(t)he ability to be successful. Meet your leader’s intent, mission and vision, while being there for your family.”

How is it possible to meet the commander’s intent while also being there for your family? One method is to be present in the moment. Be present at work and at home. When you’re at work, exhaust yourself. Plan, coordinate, and accomplish every task to the best of your ability. Inform your leadership of the important events. Find and mentor your replacement. When you are at home, be at home. Taking a break from work relieves stress. It helps make associations between abstract concepts you have been struggling with. Periodic breaks provide perspective. There will be times when the long hours, sacrifices, and missed occasions are unavoidable. We knew it, and agreed to it, when we raised our right hand to continue service in the Armed Forces. Yet despite knowing these sacrifices, many of us struggle to remain present in the moment when out of the office. We often feel the need to check the government cell or webmail out of concern for missing an important message. Every message becomes a priority, which undeniably means no message is a priority. Meanwhile, our children, spouse, and personal relationships suffer while we continue to immerse ourselves in the work culture when we should be actively listening to and interacting with the people who look forward to our return home from work every night. Set aside a time to unplug from your devices to maximize the opportunity to be in the moment with yourself, your family, and those closest to you. Know when and how to prioritize life over work or work over life. If a special occasion is on the horizon, plan far enough in advance to minimize work conflicts. Nurture the professional team. Perhaps your peers can assist by covering down on a task in the event of the true special occasions. Be sure to return the favor when given the opportunity. Many of us are good team builders in the professional arena. Do not forget to give your family team the same energy, time, and devotion.

Here is the harsh reality many of us forget: one day we will all take off the uniform. Even if we serve until our mandatory retirement date, the day will come when we unlace the boots and carefully hang the uniform in the closet for the last time. When that day arrives, the emails, endless meetings, and other tedious and unglamorous tasks may have a different meaning. None of this is to say our work is not important; in fact, I believe the military is one of the most meaningful professions in our great nation. It has been an honor and privilege to serve for the past 15 years. That said, it is important to remember that no amount of money, promotion, command position, professional achievement, educational degree, or material possession will satisfy your inner voice. No matter the profession, the organization will continue to operate long after our departure. Hopefully you improved processes and organizational performance, but the organization will continue to operate nonetheless. There are thousands of field grade officers in the military. There is only one of you for your family.

Achieving and maintaining balance is an arduous task. It requires deliberate decision making, prioritization of time, constant communication with peers and family members, and the occasional sacrifice. By using the tools we have available in the military – and actively involving the families who love and support us – we can maximize productivity, maximize family time, and minimize sacrifices. The good news is, balance is not static. No matter where you’re starting from, you can improve. Always maintain forward trajectory, and never stop seeking self-improvement. Embrace your passion to break through the proverbial wall and keep moving forward.

Stephen E. Ford currently serves as the ADAM/BAE AGI Course Manager for the Fires Center of Excellence, Fort Sill, OK. He was a Brigade C4I System Integrator for 1st Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division from April 2014 to May 2016. From Nov 2013 to April 2014, he served as the Brigade S3 Training OIC for 525th Battlefield Surveillance Brigade. Follow him on Blogspot @ http://forwardtrajectory.blogspot.com.